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I just bought the song off of�iTunes and I have to say as much as I liked the song before, I absolutely love it now. Its so�much clearer and just plain better than the one thatapos;s been floating around for the last 1 1/2 to 2 weeks. I know. I downloaded one of those versions to keep myself satisfied until the release

Please buy the song. Trust me. Its worth the�money youapos;ll spend on it. Maybe more depending on how much you liked it.
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for the past two days of my life...ito na ata yung pinaka masakit na naramdaman ko ulit sa buong buhay ko....do i need to elaborate this? mahirap na magsalita...and besides with that 2 days i learned a lot...and as i said before..i should LOVE, RESPECT and TAKE CARE of MY SELF

ganito na lang...iapos;ll jaz enumerate some things..tapos if you have questions and quite curious of this..text niyo na lang ako or PM na lang:

here are the MOST HURTING words I received from other people..iapos;ll make it anonymous..kasi mahal ko at rinirespeto ko mga taong nagsabi nito:

TOP 3 HURTING WORDS I RECEIVED:

Top # 3 - You are not changing�-mababaw�pa yan pero ang sakin lang..i know i changed also, sa pagbago ko..minsan hindi ko na alam kung sino pa ba ako. As I said before, My insecuritues is killing me

Top # 2 - Lahat na dumadaan sayo,nasisira lang ang buhay- ano ako? destroyer? pagsabi sakin nito..parang bumagsak ang kalahati ng pagkatao ko..ano ba mali kong ginawa? alam ba niya kung sino talaga ako? ano nararamdaman ko araw-araw? i donapos;t think so..pero this person had the guts to tell this to me.

Top1 # 1- Malas ko ako ang napili mo - ito ang award winning sa lahat parang pinatay na ako sa pagsabi nito...kahit kanino sabihin ito..SOBRANG SAKIT i donapos;t know if this person mean it..but all i know is..pinatay na niya ako..iapos;m a living dead now..na kakaiyak minsan na luluha na lang ako..iniisip ko tuloy yung dati..pagkatapos nito..parang nawala lahat sakin..nawala talaga buong pagkatao..yun na nga yun..patay na ko

Dahil sa mga sinabi sakin..i learned some things:

# 1 - matutong tumahimik - sometimes we need to speak less for the sake of others..ito yung isa sa mga malaking bagay na dapat kong gawin..and it shall start NOW

# 2 - Time for myself - wala na akong time sa sarili ko..i realize that iapos;m loosing my friends..kahit saan friends..sa Parish namin, mga school friends,college, high school or even sa Masters ko, sa work ko dati, sa work ko ngayon..actually..wala akong friends sa new work ko..masyado akong na lulon sa mga bagay..parang drugs..nawala sakin lahat..

# 3 - pigilan umiyak at kung iiyak man..sa sarili ko na lang - parang iyakin na ako ngayon..pucha kung kelan ako tumanda saka ako naging iyakin After this, kung iiyak man ako..dapat wala ng makaka kita sakin..it would only between me and by bestfriend Jesus..siya na lang ang pang hahawakan ko sa ganung bagay..since siya lang naman nakaka intindi sakin eh..ever since..kahit na sobrang bad ko na siya lang nakikinig sakin..

�

yun lang po...hmmm...sorry sa mga matatamaan ng sinabi ko dito..i donapos;t mean anything, Iapos;M JUST EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS KASI SASABOG NA ULIT AKO....sana na isip muna nila yung sasabihin nila sakin..since it was said already.nabato na ako ng ganitong salita..and its time for me to go out with my shell...but with my head down...kasi dahil sa sinabi niyo..nawala buong pagkatao ko..

I AM A LIVING DEAD...

�

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One of the most popular excuses for women on the show that get caught cheating: You leave me alone to work all day Of course, Iapos;m gonna cheat on you Or You know Iapos;m a troubled person. You canapos;t leave a troubled person alone Of course, I will do drugs and cheat on you while youapos;re at work, supporting me and I live in your nice apartment/house.

Itapos;s hilarious and infuriating because these people have no sense of self-accountability at all.

While I admit Iapos;ve stayed home these past few months, more than I ever have really since Iapos;ve been working, I always tried to get a job. And then once a sense of complacency comes in, I never blamed Mike for not being with me. Itapos;s shit, how do people think you live in that apartment and eat food, someone needs to work for it But this is what separates me from societyapos;s trash.

My new job seems okay so far. I know I was entertaining the idea of pet sitting but thereapos;s no way I can pay rent and do that. I get upset sometimes because a lot of people that go to graduate school, donapos;t work. Mike didnapos;t work and I guess I feel jipped. I know itapos;s online but itapos;s still a lot of time you know and I only can take so many classes. If I did a large amount of classes at once I couldapos;ve been done this year. But the majority of the reason why I did this program was for the freedom of living wherever I want. Of course, there are downsides. Then I think always, that Iapos;m "late in life". Because I graduated at 23 instead of 22 and started graduate school a month shy of 24 instead of at 22. So I guess I need deal with this shitty work situations and just know itapos;s not forever. I know I am not trapped. I can always go home, not pay rent and work a better job, be done with school but I wonapos;t have Mike. That is the trade-off. Of course, I feel like such a girl for doing this. But-my happiness doesnapos;t have anything to do with my gender. Men and women have choices and they love people. Mike asked me if it was okay for him to move to California. That he didnapos;t want to go unless he knew I would go. I guess I do feel like I have to hold up an end of a bargain.

At least I get paid more and slightly more hours and treated with more respect with this new job. Iapos;m unsure of who my clients will be permanently. But I shadowed with one little sweet girl and my supervisor said I should get her so thatapos;ll be nice. So far, nothing is more than 10 miles away so Iapos;m happy about that. That last stint I did, was going to have me go into the city of LA which is like 20 miles away. And my clients tend to go in order like I start with a client right here in my neighborhood, then go another 5 miles south to my next client and from that client itapos;s another 5 miles south to my last client and then I go home. I like said itapos;s about 10 miles but of course round trip itapos;s 20 miles which is worse than my last job which was a round trip of 13 miles but I got paid crap and felt demoralized so itapos;s worth it to travel a bit more now.

I think this will be my job till we move either to Denver, Miami or elsewhere..

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Hello LiveJournal. Iapos;m at Borders in downtown Chicago (Michigan Ave to be exact). I like living so close to a big city, itapos;s nice to be in the middle of all the commotion and feed off the energy of a busy downtown sometimes. You can be anonymous but still be around a lot of people.

Today I attended a 3 hour discussion on course design. It wasnapos;t so bad really... Except someone said he thought the readings were *easy* and straightforward. Well....ok good for him. I should keep in mind heapos;s from the humanities and is probably used to reading abstract rambling academic papers. I had a lot of trouble understanding the readings...and was hoping Iapos;d get a better understanding from the discussion. However it seemed the level of discussion wasnapos;t as abstract or deep as the readings and didnapos;t really connect to or explain the readings as much as I would have liked. Anyway, this weekend I�have to write a 2 page reflective essay on course design based on the readings and discussion. I hope I do ok....I know this is probably an easy task for many people, but I havenapos;t taken a humanities class in many years and was never very good at writing. Oh well, Iapos;ll do my best.

So, as I already mentioned earlier in a post, the Lamictal gave me a rash... So I had to stop that. I think itapos;s part of what threw me into this latest battle with depression. I called my pdoc today since the rash is pretty much gone and asked what to do� next. He called in a scrip for Wellbutrin XL. Iapos;m gonna pick it up tonight and start it tomorrow. I really hope it helps.... Iapos;ve been on Wellbutrin before but it was a long time ago and it was with a different med combination and it wasnapos;t the XL formulation. Wellbutrin could potentially really help with the anhedonia I continually experience. *crosses fingers*� I just also donapos;t want to get my hopes up and then be disappointed. But I guess I just have to keep trying things until something (hopefully) works. I donapos;t have much of a choice really. Other than giving up.....which Iapos;m trying to keep from going down that path.

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School, Lessons, Compass, Home.
Everydayapos;s the same routine. Seeing the same people everyday. Like D:
TGIF
Alrighty Almighty. Mass in the morning, was kinda good. Funny I liked it.
Hahaha, then after, had some DJ thing, I think its kinda interesting. :D
Our lessons doesnt seem like weapos;re having lessons, heehee :)
Had Amath, was uh-okay?
HumanMC: I wish to see you all back�next year I hope, I think yapos;all can pass. Coz yapos;all study very hard.
-Chng I looked across�at each other. Gave�the yapos;know kinda look.
HAHAHAHA, Super hilarious�Evil smiles :O
Chemistry was good. But with the noisy people, I got so irritated. Argh,
Oh whatever. I should chill. School ended.


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